God, my dick hurts.

No, really. I've been frigging for months, for years. But really, these last few months I've frigged like nothing else. I wonder if they are not, as I reach the middle of my middle years, the dying strain of all my wanks, past and present, as if, like any common or garden drug addict, I was furiously aching, doubled over, for the memory of that first ever, ever, frig. God only knows, but my dick hurts.

Have we met?